A FEW MO' THINGS, 10/31/12

Programming Notes: Normally we do a chat on Wednesdays, but this week we're moving it to 1:00 on Friday.  Be excited.

Let me begin by wishing you a Happy Halloween, and by encouraging you to do the right thing.

1) Allow your kids to trick-or-treat.  There is a finite amount of Halloweens for your children.  Though I trick-or-treated until I was 16, this was merely a byproduct of being socially awkward in high school.  The cutoff for most kids seems to be about 12 or 13 years-old.  So regardless of the weather this evening, let your kids dress up and go candy hunting.  They'll hate you forever if you deprive them of this.

2) Pass out candy.  I think life should have very few requirements.  As long as you're not infringing on someone else's ability to enjoy their lives, you should be allowed to do whatever you want.  But people who can't take a few hours out of their lives one day out of the year to pass out candy to children should be deported to countries ruled by the kind of dictators that favor random be-headings.  I will not budge on this.  If you can't be home, make arrangements to have someone do it for you.  And by no means should any American adult sit in their homes and refuse to answer the door.  People like this should be forced from their homes and beaten. You were a kid once, right?  Remember how lame it was when you knew someone was inside ignoring their doorbell?  Keep that in mind tonight.

3) Pass out legit candy.  Fun sizes are not fun.  Splurge.  Buy full-size candy bars.  Avoid Tootsie Rolls, Dum-Dums, Chocolate Necco's, Bit-O'-Honey, candy corn, apples, coins, Peeps, Swedish Fish, or anything unlabeled. My grandmother used to give away unlabeled candy, which I always felt like was something that should concern any parent.

4) Don't go overboard.  Have some Halloween decorations.  Carve up a couple of pumpkins.  Greet kids while dressed in a costume if you want.  But don't be Michael Weiss.

Michael Weiss was the guy in our neighborhood who insisted on transforming his home into a haunted house of sorts.  He would then dress up as some sort of monster and scare the crap out of approaching trick-or-treaters.  The really weird part is that Michael didn't have kids, he just liked watching other children crap themselves.   We would usually respond by throwing stuff at his house and destroying his Halloween set-up.  Want stuff thrown at your house?  Want neighborhood kids to hate you for life?  Be Michael Weiss for Halloween.

-In this ESPN article, the Reds are mentioned as a possible landing place for David Wright if the Mets can't sign him long-term....
The conversation starts with ...the combination of centerfielder Drew Stubbs and starting pitcher Mike Leake, but that's not too appealing considering they were worth a combined 0.4 WAR last season. 

The conversation gets intriguing if ...the Reds open the door to some of their more appealing names. Homer Bailey and Todd Frazier seem like unrealistic asks (unless the Reds were in immediate position to sign Wright long-term), but catching prospect Devin Mesoraco would seem to have significant value if the Mets deem him ready for everyday work.

Intriguing.  While I wouldn't find this scenario likely, because I think other teams will have more to offer New York, you can't help but salivate at the thought of Votto, Wright, and Bruce occupying the middle of the order.

-Disney bought Star Wars.

I will admit to being a Star Wars guy.  I'm not one of those weirdos who dresses up like a stromtrooper at Star Wars conventions.  I wouldn't even attend a Star Wars convention for that matter, but I was a Star Wars fan as a kid, and I'm not too cool to admit that I am now.

But I worry about this.  This deal has frightening potential.  A confluence of Adult Disney Nerd (nothing worse) and Adult Fan Fiction Star Wars Guy has the potential to transform Disney's theme parks from the world's happiest places to its most miserable. 

And I worry about how Disney will cheapen the franchise. Their plans involve another three Star Wars movies, then future releases every few years.  They're turning Star Wars, which was diluted with the three most recent releases, into Police Academy.  How many Police Academy movies were there?  I stopped counting after nine.

And will we now see Disney characters in future Star Wars releases?  Does Chewbacca get replaced by Goofy?  Does the next Jedi master come from one of Donald Duck's nephews?  See where I'm going here?  Nothing about this is good.

-This week's Bengals/Broncos game reminds me of the Bengals/Chiefs game in 2003.  Remember 9-0 KC coming to town and Chad Johnson guaranteeing a Bengals win?  Remember how said guarantee worked out?

I wish someone would do that this week.  It would help my show, and maybe it's send a surge of energy through a team that looks like it needs one.  Badly.

-I was reading this article about the Miami Heat's championship rings and saw this...
Out in the arena concourses, fans were distracted from the nation’s worries. They lined up for a chance to buy championship ring merchandise, which ranged from $10 plastic replica rings to the $5,500 Ultimate Fan Ring made of 14K gold and featuring most of the elements on the real rings, including a few diamonds. They also had pendants, earrings, bracelets, key rings, and cuff links for sale.

Myron Shapiro of Coral Gables opted for the $3,900 10K white gold Ultimate Fan Ring.

When fans are buying replica championship rings, we are hitting new lows of loserdom.  Also, the economy is fine.

-I'm sorry.  I wish the Reds would have had a Gold Glove winner.  I really do.  I can't get worked up about it though. It's the award I take least serious.  I've already forgotten who won them at most positions. 

-More later, including today's radio show on ESPN1530. Here's Arianny Celeste to help you get excited for Halloween....