A FEW MO' THINGS, 8/10/12
When you are a perfect broadcaster like me, you can point and laugh at this girl.

Programming Notes:  Fake Football is here.  And frankly, thank God.  Artrell Hawkins and I bring back MoHawk Monday to a Friday for two hours today, starting at 3:04.  In the final hour, I will discuss how in awe I am of Artrell's greatness.  I'll probably babble like a teenager.

A reminder, we have the Pretend Bengals and Sorta Jets tonight on ESPN1530.  Head Cheerleader Alan Cutler has Countdown To Kickoff at 6:00, Dan and Lap have the kick at 7:30.  The game is not sold out so it won't air on local TV until like 2am or something so don't listen if you don't want the ending ruined.

Promotional Notes: Join me at River Downs on Sunday from 3:00 until 5:00.  Win a chance to announce a race.  Listen to me try my hand at it.  Make a bet.  Drink a beer.  Win stuff.

-Let's start with the fake football, if only to procrastinate talking about a real losing streak.  I normally detest preseason games because they're everything is NFL normally isn't....uninteresting games with very few schematic adjustments played in front of a largely indifferent crowd and a stale atmosphere.  They cost the same as regular season games, and if you buy season tickets you're saddled with tickets for these glorified practices.  I hate myself a little more every time I attend a preseason game, but sitting in PBS drinking a cold one on a nice summer night beats watching preseason football on tape delay, so I normally suck it up and go.

But this year is a little different.  I'm pretty excited about tonight.

I'm more interested in the preseason because this year's preseason is more interesting.  Instead of sorting through guys who otherwise would be operating construction equipment if they weren't in camp with the Bengals, the team has some legit roster battles that will play out in front of us.  There could be some players who don't make the cut here who end up contributing elsewhere.

How the competition at wideout plays out, how the different pieces in the secondary are used, which backup linebackers emerge, and how do things play out among the various kick and punt return candidates are among the many compelling storylines this preseason.  I think the Bengals will have some pretty tough decision as the actual season gets closer.

More than anything though, I need something to talk about. 

Yes, the Reds, their recent winning streak and their current string of failures has taken up most of our time on the radio, but it's not like the Bengals have given me a deep pool of topics to choose from.  This might have been the most uneventful, dare I say boring, first two weeks of Bengals training camp in my lifetime.

And that's a very, very, good thing.

While the Jets beat the hell out of each other in front of a media contingent larger than the White House Press Corps, while the Saints figure out who will coach their team in week one, while the Seahawks reek of desperation rivaled only by me the week before Senior Prom, while Joe Philbin cleans Chad Johnson's mouth out with soap in Miami, while the Browns continue to be the Browns, while the Cardinals insist through gritted teeth that they're happy with their quarterback situation, and while the Jaguars, Raiders, and Chargers let their fans twist in the wind as the NFL seeks a team for Los Angeles, the Bengals are quietly preparing for a season.

Doesn't make for great talk radio fodder and it doesn't play into the hands of the national networks looking for storylines, but the biggest "controversy" surrounding the Bengals at camp these last two weeks has been a Twitter ban.  No holdouts, no player outwardly demanding a trade, no looking over the shoulder wondering when a disgruntled player might show up, no desperation, no distractions...just football and a team that unlike the 2006 and 2010 teams that followed up playoff appearances, doesn't seem to carry the sense of entitlement that successful season the year before can bring with it.

Will these guys be good?  I really have no idea right now.  Are there significant questions and concerns on both sides of the ball? Absolutely.  But two weeks into camp, there's little else to talk about right now than how good they'll be and what the questions and concerns are.

The talk radio host in me doesn't love it. The fan in me couldn't be happier about it.  Tonight both will actually have something to talk about.

-Which might beat talking about the Reds right now.

Earlier this week, I wrote about how I thought this race was the Reds to lose, calling it "not over, but close."  I stand by part of that.  I still think the Reds should and will win the division. And my premise included allowing for the fact that their 4.5 game lead could, and probably would at some point, shrink.

It's shrunk.

I still like their chances because I think Votto will give them a boost, because I like the Cueto-Latos 1-2, and because I still like this team's bullpen, the last two games not withstanding.

But still...Mike Leake failed to get it done last night yet again.  He doesn't look the part of a guy you want with the ball ten more times in a close pennant race.  Homer Bailey needs a good outing today to stave off concerns about his rising inning total taking a toll.  And this offense continues to be as unproductive as me in my 20s.

They've scored 19 runs in their last seven games. 

Some of this was to be expected...they are after all using three rookies in prominent roles (though two homered last night), and you had to figure that guys like Ludwick and Phillips would cool off just a bit.

Still though, while I understand and defend Dusty's practice of being judicious with his starters' playing time, this bench is still very uninspiring.  Last night Wilson Valdez swung at a first pitch from noted wild thing Carlos Marmol which marked the first remote control throw in my house in months.  And Miguel Cairo is simply not very good. 

Most frustrating right now is Jay Bruce.  He simply hasn't taken his game to another level, especially these few weeks when they've needed him most.  The power numbers might still look impressive, but assessing Jay Bruce goes beyond staring at numbers.  He just doesn't look the part.

And this team, depended right now on rookies and old guys, needs Jay to look the part.

Big picture, I'm not panicked.  We'd hoped they'd stay afloat without Votto and they have. They still have a chance to be in first place the day he comes back, and absolute worst-case, they'll still be at least within striking distance when he returns, and I still think they're good enough to win games against the dregs of the NL.

But I felt a hell of a lot better five days ago.

-Losing streak or no, the #RedsTweetup on Thursday night is gonna be a good time.  $25 gets you a seat in the Moon Deck and this shirt....

-This too, will be a good time.....

-More later, wall to wall football this afternoon, and a blog previewing that.  Catch the radio show at 3:04 today on ESPN1530.  Next week is one of my favorite events of the summer...the Western And Southern Open.  I plan on spending most of my afternoons, and a few nights, at the Lindner Tennis Center.  I'll be hosting trivia at the Corona Beach House Monday night and Wednesday afternoon.  If you haven't gone, check it out.  Anna Kournikova won't be there unfortunately.  She is however featured in a new magazine spread. You can check it out here...