A FEW MO' THINGS, 7/27/12
And I used to think that the stoners in college who spent every day playing Frisbee had no future.

-As the Reds sort through the bottom rungs of the National League, hopefully piling up for victories against the Rockies this weekend, we march toward the trading deadline.

Dusty Baker isn't the only one who can't wait for July 31st to come and go, even though he, you, and I know we'll be talking about potential waiver moves throughout August.

I'm guessing that if the Reds do make a move, it'll be something completely off our radar.  That's been Walt Jocketty's M.O. since he's been here - his most notable trades and signings were at least mildly surprising -  but let's look at the possible deadline outcomes in order of likelihood, with the probable reaction by the masses.

1) The Reds do nothing.  Jocketty looks at his team, assesses what's available, and determines the cost for what's available doesn't justify adding a piece that doesn't make the team markedly better.  The asking price, especially for a team that did trade seven prospects this past winter, is simply too high to justify what relatively little they'd get in return.

"Are you kidding me?! Walt sat on his hands and did nothing!  While other GMs were wheeling and dealing, our guy sat in his office puffing on cigars, shopping online for extra tubes of Just For Men: Extra Gray.  Is this guy serious about winning?!  Is his boss?!  When's the first pretend Bengals game?"

2) The Reds add a player who either used to be good but isn't anymore, or who doesn't significantly upgrade the starting lineup, or who's been added for the sole purpose of adding depth to the bench.

"That's it?   They expect (fill in the name of crappy player here) to help this team?  Sure, this guy was great in 2008, but so was Kanye West!  Why didn't the Reds just trade for him!?  At least we wouldn't have had to give up (insert name of some guy the Reds traded), to get him and Kayne probably would've had a higher (insert name of a stat someone probably just invented last month here)  This was a waste.  Is Walt just sitting in his office, puffing on cigars, and once in a while cleaning the glass on his framed photo of the LaRussa's?!??!)

3)  The Reds make a deal for a game-changer.

"Finally!  The missing piece.  This organization is serious about winning and it's about damn time.  You start planning the parade route while I figure out which body part I'll sell so I can afford World Series tickets.  Who'd Walt giveaway to get (fill in the name of a bona fide star here)?

Billy Hamilton.

"WE TRADED BILLY HAMILTON?!? The fastest guy in baseball?  A guy so fast he hit a home run and circled the bases before the ball left the yard?  We let him get away?  What will I follow online now?  Who's stolen base totals am I going to track?  What player will I unreasonably hope the Reds rush to the Majors just to satisfy my curiosity?

I know, I know, it's not like I identified which game-changing player the Reds would hypothetically be trading for, and Walt dealing the Reds highest-ranked and most-hyped prospect seems far-fetched, but given what's most likely to happen around the deadline - either inactivity or the acquisition of a player who either fails to inspire (I think the sound you'd make upon hearing about the deal is spelled "mmmeehh'), or who isn't worth getting winning a bidding war for - isn't it fair to wonder whether making a deal for a player who makes the Reds drastically better is worth parting with baseball's stolen base king?

Should Billy Hamilton be 100000% untouchable?

Now don't read this as "Mo thinks they should trade Billy Hamilton."  No one wants them to.  And I would imagine come Wednesday morning, Hamilton, and his legs, will still be property of the Reds.  I can't see a guy being available that would justify trading him, and if he is, I would imagine the Reds will pass.

But if they're all-in for 2012, isn't the key word "all?"  Doesn't that word suggest that "all" moves, ideas, trades, and signings should be considered? 

Why would Billy Hamilton be exempt from that.

I know the Reds have dug deep into the farm system, and every team - especially those not in New York and Boston - must get to a point where it decides it's not gutting the system any further - but if there is such a short supply of game-changing players on the market, and trading Billy Hamilton is the only thing that can guarantee that you'd get him, you'd have to at least seriously consider it, right?

Right.

I want to see Billy Hamilton play for the Reds.  And I'd love for the Reds to find the right deal that could improve their championship chances this season while ensuring that we'll see Billy at GABP late next season if not sooner.

But if that right deal - and mind you, it must be the absolutely right deal - comes along that can significantly increase the odds of a parade in Cincinnati in 2012, then the Reds should be willing to use their top commodity to make that happen.

As unlikely as that is.

-Think back to a year ago.  The Bengals had just concluded what many referred to as "the worst offseason in NFL history." 

Then they went out and won nine games and made the playoffs with a rookie quarterback who had just training camp to get read for the season.

Think of what they can do after a good offseason.

For the Bengals to get to where we want them to go, they'll have to overcome plenty of obstacles - a drastically improved schedule is at the very top of the list - while easing a number of concerns and answering many questions.  Some of that will sort itself out these next six weeks.

But the last seven months have been productive and serene.  No Bengals draft in my lifetime has been met with such universal praise and enthusiasm as this year's haul.  They didn't hit home runs in free agency, but didn't completely whiff either.  They retained two popular and successful coordinators.  And a normal offseason program can't do anything but aid in the development of Andy Dalton.

But maybe just as important, we went a long stretches of time without talking about them.  As Marvin would say, that's a good thing.

There were 29 NFL arrests this offseason.  One involved a Bengal (Rey Maualuga), and that case (which was sketchy) was settled out of court.  Rey could face discipline from the NFL, but it doesn't feel like something looming over the beginning of camp like potential suspensions for guys like Benson and Henry did in the past.

For a team often used as a punchline when NFL off-field behavior is mentioned, the team's biggest scandal involved a cheerleader.

It goes beyond that though.  We had no one publicly demanding a trade.  We had no one threatening to holdout.  We're not sitting and wondering if a certain quarterback is will show up unexpectedly and we're not anxious over sideshows breaking out because someone isn't getting enough attention.

The entire franchise escaped controversy, with the Bengals doing some very unBengal-like things.  They lowered some ticket prices, brought training camp to Paul Brown Stadium (a good move, if an overdue one), and even hired additional scouts.  I can go on and on about how far they have to go, but they made some progress off the field, and most important, with the public, this offseason.

Will any of these things translate into the team's first playoff win since I was in eighth grade?  I have no idea, but I can't help but wonder if the Bengals were so good after and offseason that was so bad a year ago, how good might they be after an offseason that was so good this year?

How much more productive can this coaching staff be, free of questions about trades, arrests, contract demands, and some of the general silliness that accompanied the onset of so many recent training camps?

How much more work did this team get done knowing full well whom the quarterback is gonna be?  How much will the normal offseason program and regularly-paced training camp help this team progress?

The offseason unlike any other from a year ago was followed up a year later by an offseason unlike most.  I can't wait to see if the Bengals can translate that into a season unlike anything we've ever seen.

-I went to the Bengals' Pep Rally for season ticket holders last night.  With the rain hammering Cincinnati around 6:15, I feared the crowd would consist of me, a few of Mike Brown's relatives, some vendors, and those creepy people who appear in Bengals-related Bootsy Collins videos.

Fortunately, the weather made a turn for the better, and it ended up being a pretty nice time.  They gave away $10 in concession vouchers when we walked in (good for beer, which is important, because PBS food still looks like it's gonna be awful.  Babysteps, right?), had the Pro Shop open (the Nike gear is a huge upgrade), had a dozen or so former players available for autographs, and they introduced the players, a few of which made brief remarks.

There was also a guy in a Steelers hat, which made little sense.  He of course sat down in a seat that was being held for someone, and when informed that said seat was being held for someone, proceeded to curse out the person who informed him of this.

The event can be better - I would've made the players available a little more, and I would've set up some more interactive activities like an Alan Cutler dunk tank, and something like that would be much cooler if opened to the public - but for their first crack at something like that, the Bengals did a nice job with their pep rally.  I took a few pictures.

In the distance, Dan Hoard and Dave Lapham stand on stage and prepare to fire up the crowd as a beer vendor demonstrates how to run the Statue of Liberty play in the aisle.

Andrew Whitworth addresses the crowd, then scans the crowd for the foul-mouthed Steeler fan.

Thomas Howard says stuff.

Followed by Andy Dalton saying more stuff.

Domata Peko addresses the crowd.  By the way, I hope Macy's sends me a check for all the advertising they're getting on this blog.

The band that followed wasn't bad, I didn't stay for any fireworks.  Instead I went to Best Buy to price out some TVs that were made this century in the hopes of finding a good deal and passing it on to the Bengals so they could replace sets like these....

I think I had that TV in my freshman dorm. Like I said, babysteps....

-Every four years we get two things....

1) A Presidential race and the ensuing name-calling, finger-pointing, character-assassination, fact-distorting, truth-ignoring, and screaming political punditry that alienates non-automatons like me.

2) The Summer Olympics.

I'm excited about one of these things.

I like the Olympics, and the winter games are always a nice break from the dark abyss that is February, but I like the summer games just a little more, for a lot of reasons....

The summer Olympics give us traditional sports that would get completely lost if they competed with America's big four sports, but that for 2 weeks out of every 208, are really fun to follow.  I'm talking sports like track and field and swimming, sports that only matter when the Olympics come around, and sports that have given the games some of their most iconic moments.

Olympic sports and Olympic athletes make for great comedy.  Some gymnast will bite in on a pommel horse or on the rings, and if that gymnast is a guy, he'll tell everyone he's ok in a voice that sounds like it could only belong to a Muppet.  Some diver will belly-flop.  And track events like the hurdles always have comedic potential.  You can't help but make fun of synchronized swimming...

....and as long as trampolining is still an Olympic event, I will always feel like I could make the Olympics if I really wanted to. 

Because trampolining is not a sport.

Some Olympic sports are just plain goofy.  Do you have any idea what the hell Team Handball is?  I'm not sure I know what individual handball is.  I do know we've never medaled in it.  And I do know it looks like something my gym teacher at Scott High School might've invented between smoke breaks. 

BMX Bicycle Racing is an Olympic sport.  Know that kid who was just a little to enthused about doing wheelies on his bike?  He can now make the Olympics.  Same for the nine people who know how to play badminton.  Effing badminton is an Olympic sport. 

But I love that about the Olympics.  Some of these sports are so weird that you can't look away, and some are so TV-unfriendly that you watch simply because you can't believe they're being shown, complete with announcers and everything, on TV.

Weightlifting is on that list.  Archery is on that list.  So is anything in a kayak or a canoe.  And Equestrian.  I think Equestrian betting should be legal by the way.

I also love the the sports that make me wonder why countries place such an importance on them.  For years, India dominated Men's Field Hockey (that's right, Men's Field Hockey).  In recent Olympics, The Netherlands, Germany, and Australia have together dominated by Men's and Women's Field Hockey.  Americans couldn't give less of a crap about field hockey, at least those of us who who couldn't make the girl's soccer team at private east coast high schools.  But India, The Netherlands, Germany, and Australia care about field hockey the way we care about football.  So they're as good at those sports as we'd be if they stuck football in the Olympics.

And every four years, the Olympics gives hoops nerds like me a nice fix.  Take away the US, and Men's Basketball would still be worth watching.  Not counting Team USA, there are 27 players with NBA experience who will compete in London, plus a few more who will play in The League this coming season. 

And then there's the Americans.  In what could be the last year of NBA players representing the US (I don't think this happens, but it is a possibility), the 2012 squad is competing with both history (inevitable Dream Team comparisons and Kobe's comments about the '92 team) and a field that includes a Spain team with great size, the Argentinians with a roster loaded with NBA guys, and a Brazilian squad that will be very tough for an undersized US squad to score against.

(If basketball officiating in the US bothers you, don't watch the Olympics.  International basketball officiating is dreadful, and woefully inconsistent.  This will be an issue, maybe not for the Americans, but for someone.)

The US should win the gold, and probably will.  But no one Olympics team or athlete faces the massive amount of criticism our basketball team does when it wins by a narrow margin, much less when it loses.  How will the prohibitive favorite respond if it faces adversity, knowing an entire country is waiting to pounce.

More than anything, I like the Summer Olympics because we're good at them.

The United States owns the Olympics.  American Olympians have won more medals and more Gold Medals than any other country.  It's a skewed stat to a small extent - the breakup of the Soviet Union widened the gap and some countries just recently started competing - but so what?  The Olympics are all about US athletes kicking ass and taking gold. 

And we rally around them.  Four of my favorite moments as a sports fan involved American athletes doing awesome things at the Olympics...Dan Jansen's speed skating Gold at the Winter Games in 1994, Kerri Strug nailing the landing in 1996 (Shut up. I was waiting tables at a restaurant that was showing it and everyone was into it.), Wrestler Rulon Gardner beating Alexander Karelin for the Gold in 2000, ending Karelin's 13-year winning streak, and chanting "USA-USA" in a packed Pittsburgh sports bar as everyone watched Michael Phelps win his eighth gold four years ago.

I'm a sucker for the theater the Olympics provide, I get into the deep personal stories of obscure athletes who finally get time to shine, and I like watching us kick the hell out of the rest of the world and not need a UN resolution to do it.

We've got great pennant races and the early stages of football to occupy our time and command our attention this time of year.  But every four years, I leave a little room for the Olympics, and they rarely disappoint.

-The Olympic games are always good for eye candy as well, led by my favorite of the 2012 bunch, Lolo Jones.

-Watching the Olympics with as much interest as I do, you have to bone up on some of the countries we'll be kicking the hell out of.  Fortunately, NBC has put together this handy guide to each participating nation.

I found this nugget on the page for American Samoa interesting....

The most famous person from American Samoa is the former Miami Dolphins linebacker Junior Seau, who now is now retired after playing for the New England Patriots.

Retired is an interesting way of putting it, I guess. 

-I'm a day late on this, but it's worth posting nonetheless.  I like a coach who doesn't take himself too seriously.  Hell, I like anyone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

-Here's as good a look into the success of Johnny Cueto as you'll find.

-As excited as I am about the Olympics, the slain Israeli athletes from the 1972 Munich Games absolutely deserve their proper moment tonight.  I'm glad Bob Costas is doing what he can to remember them.

-We've got a radio show today on ESPN1530, so be there for that.  I'll have a blog previewing the show, so be here for that.  Three days ago, I claimed I'd never be on Instagram.  I lied.