A FEW MO' THINGS, 4/13/12
Some guy wrote some rhymes about being 24.  Being 24 was far cooler than this guy makes it out to be.  Try 34, pal.

I know the immediate reaction to yesterday's Reds defeat in DC was to gripe about Dusty's decision to trust the tenth inning to someone named Alfredo Simon.  Maybe the call should've gone to Sean Marshall, in the hopes that the closer could get the job done in two innings with the Reds scoring in the 11th.  It's a decent question.

And I know we can't wait a few months or even a season or two before we pass judgment on the Latos deal, so we take every bad inning and use it to make sweeping statements about Mat, the players he was dealt for, and probably his awesome wife as well.

I get it.

But can I ask a simple question?

Can we score some runs, fellas?

Yes, it's just seven games and yes there's plenty to say about this team's ability to score late, but last year's potent yet inconsistent offense has carried over just one of those characteristics to the new season.

They've scoring just three runs a game.

They've been brutal when they actually get runners in scoring position, hitting just .143.

Third basemen are hitting .074, left fielders are batting a whopping .120, and the one player who's played center field is sitting at a robust .160.

They've been great in the ninth inning, but awful in every other, and those things might place a premium on both sound managing (Dusty hasn't used the pen well) and lights-out starting pitching (which they haven't gotten), but issue number one right now is that these guys aren't hitting. 

And if they don't, those other things might not matter nearly as much.

-I make my share of grammatical, spelling, and typographical errors.  It happens.  But I don't engrave them....

-Of the 932,291 pieces written about Ozzie Guillen vs. himself, this is the most thought-provoking.

-Reebok has a new John Wall shoe. And it is absolutely hideous.

-I think we should all be grateful to Bobby Petrino for introducing us to someone called "Miss Motorcycle Mania."


-Here are 85 different Jennifer Love Hewitt GIFs.

-I'm not sure what this says about me, but I spent a large chunk of my morning wondering if Ashanti visits Ja Rule in prison.

-This is a good read on the whole "Should NBA players get paid for playing in the Olympics?" argument.

-Aroldis Chapman can't do this....

-The radio show returns Monday at 3:04 on ESPN1530.  I trust you will listen.  And I trust that you'll agree that this is the greatest baseball team name ever.